manic.manila.muse

I'm not blogging much but that doesn't mean I won't be spamming randomness from time to time.



BREAD

I dream of an evasive bread one delightful afternoon. Siesta time isbliss, yes, but dreaming of bread that doesn't want to be taken to thecounter to be payed for, taken out and get devoured by human isdisturbing indeed.

I have a favorite bread shop here named BREAD TALK. The layout of theplace is open, always bright and spacious. Oh so very clean (aside forsome crumbs left on some platters) because the food are left out in theopen for the costumers to chose freely.

I dream of wanting a certain bread, but whenever I would put it in mytray, it disappears. After a while, it disappears again and again evenif I know I was squeezing it, holding firmly so it won't go away. Butit never stayed for long. In my dream, the layout of Bread Talk was thevery opposite from reality: dirty, old, cluttered. I should've knownsomething was weird, but my main focus was to get the bread. Until Iwoke up, it remained evasive.

When I remembered this dream, I thought that maybe it's sayingsomething to me. When I researched on the net, it says that breadactually is a good symbol, a positive symbol, even sometimessymbolizing spiritual growth. But the bread in my dream wasunreachable, avoiding me, so does that mean I'll have bad luck? Evenworse, will my life turn upside down because I lack spirituality?




DETERMINATION

I told myself I'll lose weight this year.
No seriously, I marked this date to be the start, and so far I'm doinga good job. Though I have to remind my mom to lessen my rice for lunch.I have to cut everything down and start exercising. I'm not even tryingto be thin, I just want the flabs to be gone, particularly those aroundthe middle, and I'll be damn happy.

I want this kind of figure back:

Taken I think five years ago, and I never appreciated it.
Damn, after years of teasing, the mockery finally got to me.

So maybe consistency is something I have been lacking for, maybe forlife? Is it a trait? Hopefully not. So while I was looking through astack of planners a while ago, I really wanted to replace the one I hadnow for the bigger, grander one. I can always do it, and never mind theefforts I've gone through preparing that planner, but I thought if Icould drop things so easily in the middle, I'll never be able to standup for things that I don't only want to archive, but because they'llbring me to places, put me to places, I can only imagine for now.

Impulse is another enemy. This is a dominant trait of an Aries, but Ifigured I can't use that excuse forever, so I might as well fix my lifeand use that trait well. It's not always a bad thing; not always.

So control! Conquer!!
My student told me that if I would be able to do one thing for 21 daysstraight, I'll be able to change my life. I'll try. I pray that I'lleven remember trying.

GAMBARE! AJA!



SHINee

Well, this is not really a big deal, maybe just musings of a fangirl?

I was hurt, I guess, when a friend of mine told me she hates SHINeebecause they are trying to be like DBSK, or trying to be as big as DBSK.

I'll argue with that a bit and even drag the boys down in the process.

They have a LONG WAY TO GO.
In tagalong, "Marami pa kayong kakaining bigas" baka kaban pa mga bata.
Performance wise, hosting wise, singing wise and choreography wise,they need to improve still, a lot. Performing live is still not theirforte and the songs tended to get eaten because they also needed tofocus on the dancing. This should be both given in excellency. But theyare young, very young. Experience would still teach them more so Ithink people should wait for that first. Just give them a chance toprove themselves since they have the potential to really make it big.

Fanbase wise, Super Junior would even eat them.

Even if they are young and cute and always nodding to the point thatyou'll think they look obediently stupid, they're still adjusting. Andwe all know their not saints, they have their own diva-ness.


So there. I wasn't annoyed, really. Just a bit hurt. I don't want anyof my fandoms to be taken the wrong way, even if my reasons won't beunderstood in the end, at least I did my job to defend how I see them.

And just because no matter how silly it sounds, fandom makes me happy.
Of course the yaoiness are the main culprits and thank goodness they have talent.

And so because others take them as underdogs, I shall love them more.
*HUGSTHEBOYZ*



and PS. KEY (of SHINee) DANCINGTO 4minute's "MUZIK" WAS SO DISTURBING. HIS EXPRESSION, CHEST PUMP ANDHIP SWAYING WERE ALL TOO GOOD AS A WOMAN TO EVEN REMEMBER HE'S A GUY.HE DANCED TOO SEXY TO TAKE HIM AS STRAIGHT. And I already noticed thiswhen they danced to "Gee" and "Tell Me Your Wish" before.

OH KEY.
OH KIBUM, you break my heart. If you are gay for Minho, Taemin or Onew, I would accept.
But if you're all diva and gay, well, spare me the heart break. *sniff*



SLEEP

I need that.
Nuff said.
Chow.

...to smoke and drink.
8D

This new year celebration, I was more than willing to show my bad girlside to my relatives. Maybe I had my ego inflated since I turned 21 andearning money for myself and my family. I've been at legal age foryears (and stepping up the ladder every year, naturally) so I thoughtit was time to show some habits I have up my sleeve.

My cousins and I started drinking beer and I called for cigarettes whenI didn't notice my mom standing behind me. She whacked me on the headfor God knows how long with a horn, asking me with such amotherly-voice (I almost lol-ed), then asked me for a stick too. Shesaid she'll join in.

WUT.

It was my cousins, me and my mom smoking and drinking Red Horse beer atour grandpa's veranda. Next, my Tito and grandpa also started their ownsticks. 8D


So I was a bit disappointed at how we didn't have the ruckus for NewYear, just with loud mouths, bickering and laughing at such thingsbefore us, but this turn of events made it all worth my welcome for2010. It was a great bonding session with my relatives. ^^

Although not the greatest way to show love and camaraderie, for me it was.
I'll drink and smoke a thousand times to that to heavens.

SO GREAT WELCOME 2010!!!

But I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep my word to my students andkeep up with Korean tradition of waiting for the first break of dawnfor the new year because sleep is also pulling me in. I think I'll beabsorbing a few stories of my underage beauties first before leaning tothe dream world finally.

So one of my students told me that Koreans who doesn't wait for sunriseto pray are lazy, well, I'm not Korean and I've admitted to myslothfulness a long time ago. So hear ye, I'll just doze off.

And for final words, HELLO THAR 2010.
Don't be a bitch and give me something worth living for--of course,other than the ones I have now. Yes I demand, because that's the onlything I can do now.


Kudos amigos!
AYO~~~~

...my new piercings, that is. Stop your malice, you.

Haha!

Yes, at last, after two years (I think) I've survived another piercing session, this time manually. :D

So after 13, the new ones are easy to spot actually. One is black and the other is silver; they both are not includedalong the lobe line of the ear. :DDDDD I've always wanted these twopiercings, and so when Mao suggested of a good place, a nice guy whocan do the job and doesn't ask for too much money, then impulse plays.I also missed the feeling of getting one~ No, I'm not a masochist, ormaybe just exclusive for this kind of activity. 8D So in total, 15earrings can fit my two ears. Yey.

And sure I don't know when I'll stop. >D

But I'm pretty sure, Key-boyfriend and Pareng Yomi are proud because they are my inspirations when I decided to get these.

Impulse again, I saw a bag much too similar to Nodame's bag in Nodame Cantabile to ignore:

I've always wanted this bag! So even if it wasn't so cheap (for that kind of store), I couldn't let it go.

Ka-ching! Ka-ching!

And as I love to pleasure myself with things I fangirl about, here's another feisty buy out of my wallet's sanity:

Ah yes, I haven't announced my love for SHINee, my underage lovelies. I feel so much like Humber Humbert in Lolita sometimes when I flail over these boys. Well, it's hard to abstain fromthem especially when they are talented in so many ways other than whatthey are labeled with, including pleasing noonas when it comes to yaoi fantasies. Yes, pairings would always rule my world.

And so I love Key x Taemin, Minho x Key, Onew x (anyone except Jonghyun). They made me read almost all entries at shineeworld and finish a story whenever I have a 10 minute break between myconsecutive classes. Man, those writers are awesome. And of course theboys are awesome for being so awesome. XDDD

And after these things, I shall budget my daily expenses and refrain from bringing my ATM next year.

Amen to saving money and may the spirit of my dad's overly-thriftiness bless my wicked, spent-drift soul.

merry x'mas

and

happy new year!!!

Everyone!!

Ahaha~

I know I've been aloof from most of my accounts here in the net, but I assure you, I'm still alive! ^^

Just lurking for the past months in some communities, reading  a lot of mmmm..as boyz lurve izzues.

WAHAHAHAH~

Anyway, Christmas this year was a tadbit....boring. Or quiet. I dunno, slap me if I'm wrong. At least in myfamily it was. No merriment as the clock ticks 12, no BGM, no shoutingof joy or bickering. It was soooo...normal of a day. But my new niececaught us by surprise as she was soooooooooooooo effin cute and fat! Srsly, this kid owes flabs that I never had when I was a baby. Check it out:

Nicole (niece) and Kuya

(older brother; I don't call him by any name,

just "kuya" <-- Tagalog word for "older brother")

CHECK OUT THAT ARRRRRRRRRRRRM~ Isn't it wiggling so nice and flubby?! XDDDDDDD

I wanna see this baby again. Or betteryet, my brother should get to moving and give us a cute baby already.He's already in marrying age, though we all know he doesn't want to getmarried, but still!!! Babies are sooooooo cute *gooing*

And, starting my 2010 right, I alreadybought a planner for the next year. Since I tend to forget a lot ofthings and by the end of this year, I realized how greatly a plannerworks for my faltering memory, I decided that I will use this as muchas possible. I'll invest a lot of time writing here so I made sure Ibought one of the cutest that I can find so my interest to use it willalways be afloat. 8DDDD

Also, I'm not making any resolutions,since that's bullshit talk anyway, so I'll just do things as theyshould be done in time. I'll call those "goals", to be more appropriatewith words. So for the start of the month, here's a wish list:

And actually, after a few minutes of uploading this picture, I think I updated with 3 more things, including formatting my CPU, getting a 90.++ grade from our QA, WRITING and to finish books borrowed. So many things to do in a month! But there will be more so I should be ready. UMPPPPPPPPPF!

So many people died this year which makesthis Christmas a bit gloomier than the past ones. Personally, I don'tknow if I have grown mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.Physically, don't even ask because one of my long term goal now is tofucking lose these flabs! They are soooooooooooooooooo ugly. Thanksconscious-self for finally slapping me good of my figure. So there, Ihope I'll be able to finally do those things I really really want intime.

I realized there's a lot of things to bescared about as the new year enters, but let's not forget there's also alot to anticipate about. They're all blurred behind the ripples ofwater, a big mystery still, but nonetheless, that's what makes it quitethrilling, right?

^^

So always take care everyone!

And again, MERRY XMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

May we all have a blessed 2010! :D